Or, here are some key points.
1. SPOILERS SPOILERS SPOILERS. Don't read if you don't want to know what happens. Obviously.
2. Lots of sarcasm ahead.
3. I am live-blogging the Gilmore Girls Revival.
4. I have seen the entire series, & I have a lot of feelings.
5. This is my second time watching the revival, so some posts may hint about coming episodes too.
The cheat notes, for those who aren't fluent in Gilmore:
ASP = Amy Sherman-Palladino
GG = Gilmore Girls (or Gossip Girl, in some social contexts, but always Gilmore in this blog post)
Milo = Actor who plays Jess
Rorelai = Rory & Lorelai
& so spring begins.
We start out with Lorelai & Emily in counseling. It's a little weird because I feel like they had gotten back to a decent point in the last epsiode, but now they're sitting in silence.
Also, maybe it's just because I'm training to be a counselor, so I'm picky about these things, but this counselor is the worst. Yes, silence can occasionally be used in therapy or counseling, but I don't think many counselors just sit & stare at people for an hour, waiting for them to say something, without any prompts or questions.
Although once again, Emily manipulates the situation to get Lorelai to agree to come back to counseling. Emily: 2. Lorelai: 0.
& once again, Rory is too busy to focus on family or the town & has to run off for work. She blows off Lane (again) for a call from SandeeSays. Sandee was in Bunheads. Just saying. I think I'm the only person who attempted to watch that.
Taylor is having a 195-country food festival? Aren't there like...195 people in Stars Hollow? Who's going to be left to eat all this food?
Everyone has been freaking out about the Mr. Kim scene. I honestly missed it the first time through. I'm indifferent about them deciding to show him. He seems pretty friendly for someone who has to put up with Mrs. Kim daily, but good for him.
I'm confused by Jackson & Sookie. Jackson is still in town & Sookie has been in New York working on breeding new vegetables. But like... isn't that what Jackson does? So Sookie left to go learn how to do Jackson's job better, & Jackson stayed in Stars Hollow? Didn't they say she's been gone for two years? Did she just leave Jackson & the kids? They're still pretty young, like middle school-age, tops, right? It's all weird. I understand they needed a story to write her off with, but just say she went to train in Paris for 9 months or something. Or that the whole family moved, & don't show Jackson until you show Sookie.
More town cuteness with Lorelai buying a basket & Kirk freaking out about people eating pig, due to his new pet pig, Petal.
Back in London, Rory is meeting up with Naomi for lunch again for the biography she is writing. Although, again, we see a switch in demanor. Instead of Rory seeming entertained & having fun, like at the last lunch we witnessed, she is all business, & Naomi, instead of actually being fun & entertaining, is drunk & constantly switching topics.
Rory then has... Another lunch? Dinner, maybe? With Logan. Mr. Huntzberger shows up conveniently just as Rory is mentioning her Conde Nast meeting being pushed again, & he offers to pull some strings to get her in. She declines. She then gets defensive towards his comments on the book she's writing, although she was literally JUST complaining about it.
A town meeting. Nice to see (almost) everyone again! Luke being confused about Donald being gay. Everyone insinuating Taylor is also gay. Kind of funny, although stereotypical. Who are these random people next to Taylor on stage, though? I guess Miss Patty wasn't available for this scene? Taylor ranting about the B-List celebrities staying at the inn was kind of meh, but typical. Then at the end, Taylor says, "I'm an island." Remember this line for later posts.
Michel. My spirit animal. Complaining about the B-List celebrities right in front of the B-List celebrities was much funnier than when Taylor was doing it. "What's the point of living if we're never going to bag Jennifer Lawrence?!" Amen.
The Liz/TJ/vegetable cult situation. Don't care. If they're not going to show up in the series, I'm not interested. & frankly, they're annoying characters, so I'm not interested in them showing up either.
I'm so glad The Real Paul Anka could make it for another dream sequence. I feel like that's important. However... Did Rory say "Skrill-Lex" instead of just "Skril-ix"? I mean... There's an "E" in Skrillex, but... No. Did I hear that wrong? Is that what she was trying to say? Was she trying to weirdly say it in Michel's voice?
Back to counseling. Weird random trombone stuff, then Emily brings up Lorelai's pregancy at age 16...? I'm with Lorelai. We've been over this. "Ancient history, issue resolved." & then the letter. The problems with the letter. 1) Shouldn't Emily know what Lorelai's handwriting looks like? & why did she never bring it up until now? That's not like Emily. 2) The counselor truly sucks. Can she not talk? Or does she just sit there & look annoyed? 3) WHO WROTE THE LETTER? WHAT DID IT SAY? I read an article & ASP tries to play this off as like, "Yeah, that's family, some things never get resolved. You just never know about the letter." No. That's not "family," that's a plot hole that you forgot to fill in.
Naomi on the phone with Rory while Rory talks to Logan. Rory really is not good at this job. Why is she arguing with Naomi about the whale/mouse/rabbit/whatever? Is that detail really important? She's not writing a children's book anyway. Just let her win that argument. & then Rory offers to stay longer with Logan, but Odette is coming. They plan a farewell dinner anyway. Classy. Logan is engaged to the Swan Princess. Just bow out now. You're both better than this.
Lorelai & Luke sitting on the Love Couch as Lulu says she's had some "crazy good times" on it with Kirk. Ew, but too funny. Kirk's short films are the best. The fact that he filmed this one partially at Lorelai's house is even better. I find myself for some reason trying to decipher these short films, like they might have some deeper meaning. But it's Kirk, so... probably not. Also, the lady behind Luke & Lorelai takes about 15 fake bites of her forbidden Chinese takeout with those chopsticks.
& then Rachael Ray. Why? So unnecessary. Add that to the unnecessary cameo list. I also feel like Lorelai's acting in this scene is awkward. Her facial expressions & movements just don't seem natural. It's only in this scene too. Anybody else notice this? Anyone? Bueller?
Next, I will say first that I loved Richard. There are far fewer instances of Richard really infuriating me than Emily. But I'm honestly annoyed that he left Luke money specifically to franchise the diner when he knew that Luke didn't want to do that, & also when his only motivation in the past for wanting Luke to franchise was so that Luke would be more acceptable at social gatherings.
Paris seriously looks so good. I love that her personality is consistent - asking questions about the money she donated, where Headmaster Charleston got the money for his coffeemaker, etc. And then the notorious Tristan scene. A lot of people liked this scene because there was a classic Paris freakout. I personally really did not like it. 1) I'm still mad at fake Tristan for not being real Tristan. 2) Is this the only reason Paris & Doyle are getting divorced? So she could freak out over fake Tristan? 3) See rant below.
I think part of Paris' charm is that she's so powerful & intimidating. Part of Rory's charm is that she's so smart & driven. To have our two main girls, who were focused on academics & careers BEFORE boys, have these stupid storylines that basically show that all of their hard work was worthless - I hate that. I'll go back to Rory in later posts, but Paris could have had just as interesting of a story line if she was still with Doyle, or if they had never gotten married. She's had weak spots for boys before, but Doyle taught her how to take charge & move past that. To say that she got a career & several advanced degrees, got married, had kids, & then is getting divorced because Doyle became some pop culturized wannabe who just left her vulnerable & frazzled, & Paris is still in love with a guy she hasn't seen since high school? No. I want to see Paris as a successful career woman, an intelligent powerhouse, who is the same person with or without the love life story line.
The therapist seriously is the worst. She shouldn't be talking to Emily without Lorelai in the room if she's seeing them for therapy together. Then Emily ripping into Lorelai about being roomies with Luke. Ugh. The therapist looks like she's about to cry. Maybe she's going through something?
Did Logan really answer Rory's call with his fiancee in his bed? I always liked Logan more than most people seem to, but that's not cool. & how is he explaining to his fiancee that Rory has boxes of stuff at his place? "Oh, I sometimes wear these dresses around the house"? & Rory lied to her mom about it. Not okay.
James Novak from Scandal is interviewing Rory for GQ. I loved him in the few seasons of Scandal I watched. Apparently he's typecasted in media roles.
More counseling. Emily quit. She finally noticed the counselor is worthless. Lorelai stayed to talk though. But what's this? The counselor is actually being helpful? She can speak? Maybe she was just scared of Emily.
Emily comes in to take Luke to see franchise options. Scenes like this annoy me. Has no one learned anything in all these years? Emily is just causing trouble for the sake of causing trouble. Luke for some reason can yell at anyone & everyone he comes in contact with, but can't tell Emily he doesn't want to franchise. No one has cell phones apparently, so he couldn't possibly text Lorelai to tell her what's going on. Or just not go. Emily being so gloaty & happy that Lorelai didn't tell Luke about cancelling therapy is just petty. Lorelai lying about therapy - why? & then Luke being mad about her lying, so he... lies some more? Yes, let's add to the cycle instead of questioning or confronting the problem. Good call.
Naomi's lawyer is Dennis Feinstein from Parks & Rec. That is all.
Rory agrees to do the line story for GQ. As pointed out in this article, she is worthless at it & actually falls asleep on the job while interviewing LITERALLY the first person she talks to, then sleeps with another interviewee. Who is this Rory that can't even focus on a story, & who ruins her credibility by sleeping with a source? Why does this Wookiee thing even happen? What is the purpose? Also, SHE IS STILL WITH PAUL. & Logan, if that counts for anything, which it shouldn't. & then she says to Lorelai (about Logan), "I didn't lie." YOU SAID HIS NAME WAS DEEDEE, HOMEGURL. THAT'S A LIE.
Sandee & the SandeeSays work environment are a bit much for me. 100% could not work there. I find it very misleading how Sandee basically told Rory she already had the job, & then told her it was an interview. However, Rory should have still showed up with ideas & background info on the company, whether it was an interview or the first day on the job. & after being turned down for the job, she should have handled it much better.
As my friend Temple pointed out, this episode was obnoxious because the therapy scene could have been used for something, but instead, it was just pointless. One of my main critiques about the whole revival is that there aren't many good bonding scenes between the three GG, but instead a lot of phone calls or arguments. Emily's role is reduced to her being senile & grumpy 99.9% of the time. Instead of grieving over Richard's loss together, they all become isolated from each other & Emily becomes unlikable. & this wasn't even my least favorite episode... Because next is Summer.